A wedding explaination

Hindu weddings are supposed to take place outside, on the earth, under a canopy known as a mandap. If that's not possible, you can build a mandap inside and pretend you're outdoors. Seating under the mandap can be on the ground (carpets or mats would be a good idea) or on chairs. We went with indoors as it was about 30F outside. And we sat on chairs so we could see everyone and everyone could see us. Our mandap was a metal gazebo onto which we placed 4 red and gold saris. We put a multi-coloured rug on the ground and used a small bbque for our sacred fire.

Traditionally, the bride wears a red or red and white sari. The sari should be draped modestly over her hair. I went with a lengha choli and a scarf for over my head. The groom wears a kafni (long shirt extending to the knees) with pijamo (leggings) or dhoti (sort of an overgrown loincloth). Roy went with a tux but wore a traditional turban and scarf.

One feature of the bride's wardrobe which has become popular abroad is the use of henna or mehndi to decorate her hands and feet. It's said that you can tell how well a new bride is being treated by her in-laws from how long it takes for the mehndi to wear off.

Barat - traditionally the groom is part of a procession. He may ride on a horse or an elephant. He is accompanied by his party of family and friends. Naturally, we didn't have a horse or elephant. But we did have Coles, and he led the procession with the beating of his drum. My mom did the traditional thing and greeted the groom.

The bride and groom have parts of their costume tied to the other and then they garland each other.

The marriage fire, representing the divine witness as well as sanctifying the ceremony, is lit and you perform the Offering of the Parched Grain (Laya Homa), a sacrifice of food for the sake of prosperity. Your brother, or another male relative, pours the grain into your hand signifying his continuing support of you.

During the Mangalpheras, the couple circles the holy fire four times, not seven times as is customary in many other parts of India. The four circles symbolize the four basic human goals of Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha. We also did the seven steps, which were our seven vows to each other.

Once the wedding rituals have been completed, the couple touch the feet of their parents and the priest, asking for their Aashirwaad, or blessings.

The wedding slideshow

The Rehearsal and dinner

We started the rehearsal at 4pm on Friday. The room was quite chilly, and so we wore our jackets. We tried to get the site ready before the rehearsal, but it wasn't to be (which is why the mandap looks so sad while we're rehearsing). We then finished getting the site ready and off to dinner. We had a fun casual evening of chicken wings, pizza and speeches. I think we all had a good time that night!


This is us rehearsing...and the mandap after it was all done and decorated. So pretty!

Dad giving his heart warming (and tear jerking speech)

CJ relating his story and warning about knives.

Maggie, my youngest bridesmaid, giving an, oh so grownup, speech about how she and her brother were the reason for our engagement.

Guest Shots:

Pictures from Nancy (EHS friend)

The following are pictures from my friend, Nancy, who I met at Episcopal High School in Alexandria, VA. Thanks so much for these lovely pics! Can't wait to receive more and get my pro pics as well...

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1. Dad walking me down the aisle
2. Tom giving the best man speech
3. Our first dance



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4. Crazy dancing group (and yes, I did eventually join in)
5. Gemma dancing away the night





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6. Nancy, Liane and Julie
7. Julie
8. Angi and Jon
9. Adria and Nancy


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10. Liane at brunch the next morning in her mother-in-law's bridal sari

More about mendhi

I had an amazing experience with my mendhi experience. I never would have imagined that this would be something I'd do before my wedding, but it was totally cool. We had a gathering of a couple of my friends who arrived early for the wedding as well as R's mom, my mom and my step-mom Evelyn.

Henna is a paste which is laid on your skin. You allow it to dry and the dried stuff falls off your skin (or like me, you scrape it off cause it's driving you crazy and you don't want it in your food!). You are left with the patterns shown in the post below. Here's two pics of the paste stage:

The artist who did the work was Jumana, who hailed from Delaware. I was very lucky to be able to get her to come to our house to do the work.

Mendhi Day - my henna experience